Gabriel García Márquez wrote that a person would know that they had become old when even the simplest things were told as a story. As an old person, then, I’d like to introduce you all to someone by way of a story.
Back in December 2018, my priest sent an unassuming email message to me about a young man who was ready for a permanent family. A fellow parishioner had been mentoring the youth for a few years and was hoping that a member of our church family might be willing to give the foster parent role a try. Would I be willing to meet them, the good reverend wanted to know, if only to let the Holy Spirit do what it might? I met Patrick a few days later, at a Christmas concert, where his sponsor Linda had brought him so that we all could meet.
We went downstairs afterwards for dinner. We made small talk. About ten minutes into the conversation, I asked Patrick if he knew why I was there. "Yes," he said, "you want to be my foster dad." How did he feel about that? He smiled and said "it's cool."
Six months later (yesterday, to be precise), I sent a message to Kara updating her on what the Holy Spirit had been doing: the foster application process had ended, Patrick moved into my apartment, and the State of Illinois has given me a license to parent.
It's cool.
Yesterday morning, I told two of the baristas at our local coffee shop about Patrick's official transition from his (now former) group home to our home. Both were thrilled, asking a lot of questions and looking forward to meeting him. Other customers seemed to have been paying attention. As we talked, I stood there taking in the kindness freely given, noting once again that — even though I prefer to work alone — at no time during this process have I been alone.
That unexpected conversation at Metropolis was another example of the many kindnesses afforded to us by everyone during the foster process. I'm embarrassed for not having said more how much I appreciated their contributions. The professionalism of the staff involved has my complete respect. This group, what I have been calling "the Care Team," has made possible the creation of a new family while supporting the existing ones. It's one hell of a feat.
The transition journey that Patrick and I started at the St John’s Christmas concert and ended on this Memorial Weekend was made possible because of the many who have supported us in their myriad ways. Working to become a family (and yes, it is work) has brought to the surface a generosity of spirit from my coworkers, family, neighbors, and the wider Loyola University community which we are fortunate to have in the backyard.
There is so much to the story of our journey that I didn’t write here. And that’s OK, because the end of that story has lead to the start of this new one which you all get to experience with us. I hope that it turns out even greater.
And so, then, I would like to introduce you all to Patrick Starks. The newest member our family.
